Updated: Mar 7, 2019

I lost my father from cancer. The pains and regrets of not getting a chance to see him and spend time with him on his last few days are still like a ghost haunting me almost every day of my life.

I remember my father as a tough man with a soft and big heart. He was popular in our town because of being friendly and generous in offering help to anyone. He talks to anyone regardless of the status in life. I learned from him the value of kindness and friendship. As a father, he was not perfect but he was the best father that we could ever have, proud of and loved. He was protective that made us feel safe whenever he was around. He was thoughtful and showy that made us feel comfortable and always made us believe that everything was alright. He taught us to be open and honest in our feelings - pushed us to be straightforward and brave in our words. He was not just our father but also, our best friend.

Still hearing some of our last conversation with my promise inside my head.."I'm coming back home soon, wait for me", I said. And he replied, "Yes". That was our few words before the phone line got cut off. And at night of our video chat, he gave his last words as he thinks that he might not make it anymore and said that he loves us.

And a few hours after that conversation, I was shocked by the message that he passed away. I had a feeling that he was going but still tried to keep myself have more faith that he could hold on..a little long...as I'm coming home soon.

In my loving father's memory I made this poem:

My Father's Brave Words

Generoso P. Angeles (10 June 1940 - 23 March 2012)

In the darkroom, haunted every night

By the lonely soul… slaved by pain and sorrow.

I thought it was normal…I thought it was all right…

Uttered brave words…showed strong face…But confused.

I hear voices… I see scenes flashing so fast in my inner sight.

Trembling of my heartbeat, it was like just yesterday.

Like movies playing back that made me smile, laugh and cry.

Oh, how I’m dying to hold them back.

I recall the moment, I see you in tears from pains and sorrows just like this.

You said, “It is fine and that is how life will be. Only He knows when our time will cease.”

You uttered brave words…showed strong face…and comforted me.

And undoubtedly made me believe this is easy.

You told me a thousand times, all of us will rest and leave.

Life is our journey that will soon end;

But you will be happy to leave us with a strong faith in heaven.

And in that special place, all of us will be united again.

I know I will get old, weak and die just like you.

I am thinking it is normal…I am thinking it is all right…

I am uttering brave words…showing strong face…and copying you.

But scared if I can’t be strong enough just like you.

Wait! Oh, father, you left me unprepared as what I’ve had thought.

In this dark room as your memory stays… and as I recall…

You never stop uttering brave words….you never leave.

Now, I understand – “Have strong faith in heaven” – and that’s it!

Updated: Mar 7, 2019

Have you been bombarded by unending questions by your kid? Have you been asked of a thousand whys, whats and hows? When your child reaches the age of three, he starts becoming curious about what he sees and observes in his surroundings. Curiosity and imagination are parts of child development. As a parent, be glad that your kid is asking you questions, and seeking answers from you. Don't get irritated or annoyed when your kid asks you lots of questions. Here are some tips to handle your cute little darling:

Answer questions base on facts not on fictions. If your kid asks you questions like "why is there a bolt of lightning when it's raining?", or "Why does sun go down?", give him straight and reliable answers. If you are lacking in knowledge and can't give him detailed answers, encourage him to find answers from books or the internet. Your child deserves to learn things by getting the right information from you. Through this, he is becoming more confident, and you are becoming his friend, whom he can trust to and rely on.

Answer his question of a question. Challenge him by asking him back to know what on his mind is; by doing this, you are not just getting hints what store knowledge he already has, but also training him to seek answers by using his own brain and judgement. You will also have an idea about what kind of support and response you will give to your child. Through this, you are helping your child to be independent and a good thinker.

Have a "Talk Time". If you think that you can't pay attention to his unending questions, because you are busy, set a schedule. With this, you will have ample time to understand the things playing on your child's mind. You will also have a chance to think well before answering. Good communication builds a strong relationship between you and your child; as he grows, he won't hesitate to approach you whenever he needs reliable answers to his questions.

Remember that what you feed in your kid's brain would have an impact on his personality and mental development as he grows. Prepare him to be smart and wise as he explores the world.

Updated: Mar 7, 2019

Smacking is always been a big issue in a debate or forum when it comes to parenting issues. Some experts are saying that smacking is not good or even unhelpful in disciplining a child. It gives long-term negative effects on a child's brain development.

In a study done by Murray Straus, a University of New Hampshire researcher; from 800 children aged between two and four, and 700 children aged five to nine who experienced corporal punishment (including their cognitive ability and the number of times they were hit) when have been tested four years later, finds their IQs were significantly lower.

The children in the younger group who were subjected to corporal punishment is five points lower on an IQ test than others of the same age. With the five to nine-year-old group, it was 2.8 points lower, even taking account of parental education, income and other socio-economic factors. Straus finds the more frequent the spanking, the bigger the IQ gap, though even small amounts of smacking made a difference. He says children are stressed and frightened by hitting, which may make it harder for them to focus and learn.

Is smacking effective or not to discipline a child? What is the gauge in considering smacking as a crime? We are hearing a lot of opinions on this issue. But what is a Corporal Punishment? According to Wikipedia, Corporal Punishment is the deliberate infliction of pain as retribution for an offence, or for the purpose of disciplining or reforming a wrongdoer or to deter attitudes or behaviour deemed unacceptable. The term usually refers to methodically striking the offender with an implement, whether in judicial, domestic, or educational settings.

Most of the mothers or parents are defending their sides that they are smacking their children to teach them what is right and what is wrong. It is confusing them though, that a slight slap or smack on the wrists of their children could be taken seriously against them as a crime. Dorothy Scott, Director of the Australian Centre for Child Protection, says the method authorities use to determine whether a parent has stepped over the line into criminality in their physical treatment of a child puts children at risk. "Breaking the skin or actual bruising is often the measure, but this is too crude a way to work out the damage to a child. Ultimately the impact on a child psychologically should be an important consideration too," Scott says.

Each and every one of us have been through from childhood. A child is naturally naughty and playful. A strong word of "NO", is enough to show your child that you are the one who has power and authority over him. Explaining the reasons for stopping him from what he is doing in a nice but in authoritative voice will be enough for a child to pick that you are disciplining him. But if you think you need to smack him because your child seems can't get by words after several times of giving him warnings, one tap on a hand is enough to make him realise that you are serious. Then followed it by an explanation so the child will understand why you have to do it.

If you can't control yourself and can't avoid smacking your child, the parents must remember - never hit your child if you think you are losing your temper or angry. There will be a tendency that you will be out of control; might over hurt your child and might hit the sensitive and delicate parts of his body which may result to serious injuries or worse is death. The best thing you can do if you are angry is to stay away from your child for a moment. Take a deep breath and count up to 20, and then go back to your child after. Disciplining a child is one of the difficult challenges in parenting. As parents, it is our responsibility to raise up our children as good, responsible, well-disciplined, happy and loving individuals.

© 2008. It's Woman Power by Lovely Bandal